Project Description

book cover Getting Past NoSubtitle: Negotiating With Difficult People

By: William Ury

Notes:

  • 5 Challenges:
    • Don’t react:
    • Disarm opponent:
    • Change the game:
    • Make it easy to say yes:
    • Make it hard to say no:
  • Don’t negotiate when you are angry.
  • Three common responses:
    • Strike back: doesn’t work, hard ball players are very good at it.
    • Give in: doesn’t help at all.
    • Break off relationship: costs can be very high.
  • When you react, you lose your objectivity. You are hooked. It’s like hostage seekers.
  • Power is directly related to one’s BATNA.
  • Never react to someone’s advances:
    • To nullify someone’s behavior is to simply recognize their tactics.
    • Don’t make important decisions on the spot.
      • Go to the balcony and make a decisions
        • Ask a lawyer, study it later. Never on the spot.
    • Take a break if you feel they are pulling tricks on you.
    • Never do anything in a hurry.
      • Only you will make a bad decision.
  • Mimicking your opponent will signal that you are in tune with them.
  • Refrain question so that the opponent can get out of a position they don’t want that hurts the negotiation. To increase options:
    • Use the words “Yes, and” to explain something
      • Even a direct disagreement and be solved this way.
      • Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements.
    • Use “what if” we were to go … etc.
      • This could help increase options.
    • Ask for advice.
      • It give you a chance to educate that opponent about your issues.
    • Ask questions.
      • Ideas discovered by oneself are more powerful than ideas that were given.
    • Go around stone walls by ignoring them and interpreting them.