Project Description

book cover Emotional IntelligenceSubtitle: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ

By: Daniel Goleman

Notes:

  • IQ only contributes 20% to ones success in life.
    • Social status and environment determine some of the rest.
  • Health Concerns:
    • Anger and hostility has the highest correlation with heart disease.
      • Best to assume the best in bad situations. Also have a trusting heart.
    • Cold soars virus is dependent on anxiety / constant stress.
    • Stress causes cancer as well.
    • Depression hurts the progress and recovery of disease.
      • Stronger prediction of death than other patients.
      • Heart disease is made worse than depression.
      • Positive emotions can aide the course of disease.
    • Having a good social network stops the impact of stress on health.
  • Focusing on an emotion can make it worse.
  • Depression can be neutralized with highly good feelings.
  • Stop rage by seeking out distractions that will not provoke more triggers. Meditation works too. Venting doesn’t work.
  • Soothing worrying: worrying often gets the credit for averting danger, thus making it seem fruitful. Think of how the actual probability of it happening and think of alternatives.
  • Depression makes other facts look like depression. Exercise is most helpful for depression. Meditation is best for anxiety. Tv can make depression worse. Finishing easy task is helpful. Framing in a positive light is helpful. Volunteering and praying work.
  • Asian students spend 40% more time doing homework than other students.
  • Emotional restraint and delayed gratification is necessary in life. Delay impulse produce better students. Can be learned.
  • Hope and optimizes is important to hacve. Ability to change a setback.
  • Best to find a way that a child is already engaged and use that to teach the child. This level of flow will greatly expand how quickly they will improve.
  • Emotion brilliance is defusing a highly volatile situation.
  • 6A: 93% Predictive of divorce is harsh criticism in the heat of a fight.  Character assassination. Critique of the person and not the deed. Show disguise or contempt often will result in separation in four yrs.
  • Stonewalling is the ultimate defense. Worse possible route. After the previous. Next, is flooding, which is continuous negative thoughts of the other person.
  • To solve, wait for the women to finish venting and only wait till they request a solution.
  • Conduct a good fight:
    • Let each other talk
    • Tension reduction
    • Focus on the issue and don’t bring up other issues.
    • Keep pulse low.
  • Human medicine can save significant amount of money, bc it’s more effective than medicine.
  • Emotionally intelligent parents has enormous benefits for children
  • Child resisting grabbing a marshmallow resulted in a 210 point increase in SAT scores.
  • Simple neglect can be worse than outright abuse.
  • How to raise a bully:
    • Harshly punitive / punishments
    • Ignored them much of the time
    • Punishments were correlated with parents attitude and not what the child did.
    • Child assumes threats can come from anywhere.
  • How to Fix Trama
    • Spontaneous relearning: pair fear with something more calm from a similar experience.
    • Replay the end with a happen ending.
    • Use art as a treatment.
  • Letting kids experiment